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Start 2023 With These 5 Humorous Resolutions


Start 2023 With These  5 Humorous Resolutions

Goodbye belly-flattening teas of 2022. Peace out to the daily journal that's somewhere in your nightstand for 2022 (you filled out three pages, which is better than nothing!). And farewell to learning that new hobby. It's time to get real about these so-called “resolutions”. Every year, New Year's resolutions are set by millions of people. Come February, many of the millions have already failed, bailed, and sailed far, far away from actually meeting their New Year's resolutions. 2023 is the year to take it slow, and be easy on ourselves. It begins with our resolutions. Start 2023 with these five hilarious resolutions. Do them or don't, but at least have a laugh reading them.


Live Life to the Half-Fullest

Listen... Living life to the fullest is a good resolution, a great one even, but can we aim for the half-fullest? It's underrated. A half-fullest life could be keeping half the plans you make, committing to half of your responsibilities (who is paying attention to when bills are paid, anyway?), and spending half as much time doom-scrolling through social media. We don't want goals we can't reach. Half-full is still optimistic. It's better than nothing, in fact, it leaves room for improvement, which is great for next year.


Go to the Dentist

It started with the pandemic, didn't it? The appointment was canceled in the shutdown, and there was never time to set another one. Then there was a delay because of the image of your dentist's face once he learned that no, you had not flossed since last fall, and mouthwash had been replaced by morning coffee. It's easy to ignore oral care when no one can smell your breath through a mask or over a Zoom call. But no more excuses; this is the sign to make that appointment!


Celebrate New Holidays

Decorating for holidays like Christmas Day and Halloween is easy. Look up offbeat holidays and celebrate them in your own way. Here are some examples:

  • Trivia Day - Jan 4th: Spend some time learning some random trivia facts. Participate or plan a trivia night with family and friends.

  • National Tooth Fairy Day - August 22nd: Wear a tooth fairy t-shirt or fairy wings to work and be sure to have all your dental care up to date.

  • Awkward Moments Day – March 18th: We have all had awkward moments, but on this day, we laugh at them. Share your stories and encourage others to do the same. You can all laugh and maybe find out that you are not the only one with such awkward experiences.

Make up elaborate backstories in your head about your annoying coworkers

We all have annoying coworkers, right? Not everyone gets along, and that is just human nature. But having to deal with someone whose behavior you find annoying can be draining.


Making up preposterous theories about what drives these qualities can help relieve the tension. Tell yourself that Brad isn’t chewing loudly on purpose to drive you crazy - he was just raised by wolves and doesn’t know any better! Don’t you feel better already?


Make it to 2024

Seriously though, we are in our third calendar year of the pandemic. The planet is warmer than ever. Teacher shortages abound. Nurses are quitting at astronomical rates, too. We are like one variant away from Lord of the Flies. Making it to 2024 is the goal, people.


See you there!